Emily's Journal

Grey's Anatomy Finale Part II
SO... As promised here is my next Grey's update. Last night's episode was a BIG one!! Shocks throughout the whole thing. First, Izzy cut the cord to Denny's heart thingy with George right there, and he paged Meredith to help him keep Denny alive. Bailey and Yang were in the ER with Burke who was shot. Burke asked for Yang because he doesn't know whether he should let He Shepard operate. When Bailey found her, she was with the other interns trying to keep Denny alive. She had a shit fit and kicked everyone except Izzy who wouldn't leave Denny, into a time out. While there, George apologized to Meredith about taking advantage of her after the bomb thing. Meanwhile, Denny Proposed to Izzy and she didn't get a chance to accept, because Bailey kicked her out of the hospital. Alex got doctor Hahn to do the heart transplant for Denny. He Shepard and Grey had a fight at the "prom" and wound up having sex... and Denny died. Izzy laid on the bed with him and cried and alex held her, was sweet to her, and carried her off Denny. Then she quit, and now Grey is forced to choose between Finn, and Shepard...

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Radio

Grey's Anatomy Season 2 Finale Part I
okay...Let me just say OH MY GOD!!! Last night was part I on a 3 part Season Finale of "Grey's Anatomy". HOLY SHIT!!! It left me breathless!!! First of all, the interns were all angry, (minus the lovely George). Lots of cat fighting and whatever. He Shepard found out Meredith was was dating Finn (The supersexy Chris O'Donnell), and is now insanely jealous. Alex and Burke flew to Mercy West to get a heart for Denny but it turned out to be useless because the guy died. Then Izzy told Burke a lie about Denny's condition so he would get the heart above the guy ahead of him on the transplant list. Then she flipped because he signed DNR papers and she doesn't want to be without him if he dies. So she cuts the power to Denny's heart thingy and forces George to stand guard at the door. He was in the middle of listening to Callie say "I love You" but couldn't respond because Izzy said she needed him to help save Denny so he left. He had NO idea that Izzy was going to stop Denny's heart, and couldn't believe when she did it, so he didn't try to stop her. So, the selfish bitch probably cost George his medical Career!! I HATE her!! Meanwhle everyone else is in the middle of treating patients that were in a restaurant shooting. The shooter evaded police and shot Burke who had went to check on Denny. Izzy had just cut the cord, and told everyone that Denny would be fine when Burke got there...but of course he was Shot... What a mess!! Wonder what will happen tonight... Stay tuned!

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: "Always The Last To Know" -Del Amitri

Grey's Anatomy
Okay...I am obsessed with "Grey's Anatomy". Everybody knows this. I love the show. Most importantly though, I love George O'Malley played by the actor TR Knight. He's just so cute and lovable. He's the kind of guy you want to have for yourself. However, I think (or rather I KNOW)I need to stop watching the show. I'm getting unhealthily attached to the characters, especially George. I know he's just a charcter. I know the show is just a story. So why do I get so involved in the story/characters? The show both makes and breaks my week. I wonder why I do that. Why do I let myself get so wrapped up in it all? George is not real and I know this. I feel for him thoiugh. He's cute though (: It's just a story... I'm such a loser. I think for my own sake and for my families I should stop watching it. Of course, that conviction will probably last till next Sunday. But as of right now though, that's how I feel. I guess we'll see

Current Mood: gloomy
Current Music: Mix CD

Game Time
So.... It's game night and the world is on fire. Well, maybe not the world...maybe just Shafer Hall in Edinboro. Trash talking is rampant, tempers are running high, and the Edinboro campus is snowed in under the worst snow of the year. Steelers are up 21-10 at the moment, and you know what? I don't really give a rip. I've never understood the game, and feel no need to learn. I just want to know how it ends, because lately I've been filled with listlessness and lethargy that won't quit. I want everything to go back to being relatively normal, but God knows when that will be. Keep it here for more details though, and until next time, take care.

Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: The sounds of the Superbowl

Inspirations
So Hello again and Happy New year!!

I wanted to update this because I saw a couple of really powerful movies and I wanted to comment on them. So here goes.

Earlier this break I saw "At First Sight" with Val Kilmer. I LOVED it. It was absolutely riveting. Val is so passionate about his character. You really believe he is blind and he plays it so realistically too. I really respect and admire him as an actor and as a person

I also saw Chronicles of Narnia. It was also fabulous. It played really close to the book and the actors are amazing. More on that later.

Current Mood: pensive
Current Music: "Collide" Howie Day

MEN SUCK ASS!!!!
SO...I just checked facebook and had a detail request from my ex and under how we know each other it said You dated, got a little serious then broke up but now you get along great" Not true. It should really say Dated, broke my heart, caused me to break up with him, and now confuses the crap out of me because he's a heartless bastard". 3 years is "a little serious?" What the HELL?

Current Mood: irate
Current Music: "On the way down" Ryan Cabrera

Pondering
Ever wonder what you're good at? What you're suppossed to do? Ever ache for something more or something different? Ever feel a profound sense of faailure about yourself or you relationships? Well...I do. The question is what do you do about it? How do you make it better?

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: Phil Collins

So it's been a LOOOOOOONG Time....
So....Hi everyone!! A lot has happened between now and last January. I'm a Junior in college now. I'm taking a lot of Lit classes and Ed Tech comp (which I hate). Actually, i should say I took a lot of lit classes and ed tech comp, because this weeks finals week. I'm going home tomorrow! YAY! My ed tech comp prof hates me. He didn't like anything i did all semester long. I didn't like me also i think because he had to make changes to his class for mr. He had it out for me I swear.

I'm talking to my ex again after almost 3 years, which is wierd but nice. We might do something together over break.

I'm working at the college writing center with really nice people. (Especially Caroline, Dane, John, and Jason). I really like it.

I met a nice guy at the Blockbuster video store and we chatted innocently. It was nice. It just shows that mirackes can happen.

Mom got divorced finally after two years. WOOOO!

I saw "Rent" at the movies and it was Phenominal. God Bless Adam Pascal!!!

More later....

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Josh Groban

To Cyrus, One Year Later
Oh God! I can't believe it's been a year already. I miss you every day Cyrus! I miss your azure blue eyes and your broad loving smile. Sometimes I still think It's all a bad dream and I'll wake up and you'll be back here with me. I still see you in dreams as clear as day. I walk up to you, we sit on the couch in the youth group room and talk about anything and everything under the sun. I loved how you always told me I was beautiful. You're the first one who made me believe I was pretty. You're eyes lit up when you saw me. I love you every day! You are the embodiment of your name. A person who saw the best in everyone. You found a way into my heart and you never left me. I love you and miss you so much!! I remember you told me you wanted to be a child psychologist, director, and a philosopher who loved and who taught others to love. I lay awake at night hoping you'll walk in and give me a hug. Your hugs brightened my darkest days. Your tears broke my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't regret not telling you how much I love you, and how much you meant to me. Do you know? I'm so sorry I didn't come to your service but I couldn't get home. I stare at your picture in the paper and read the words. They say you're dead, but a year later my love, I still don't believe it. Oh Cyrus, I miss and Love you so much. Come Back to me Cyrus. Come Back to me, Love.. Oh God let me look into your eyes, and throw my arms around you and talk to you. Please God! Find a way back to me! I miss you, I love you! I think of you all the time. Come back so I can tell you just how much! Please come back. I'll love you and remember you every day for eternity. Come Back to me please!!

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Hollow Years-Dream Theater

Mistakes
Hey guys,
I was up late last night thinking about the past year and this semester and all the mistakes I made and the things I did. I'm worried that I made too many mistakes this semester. I don't know how to fix them. I wonder if I'll ever know.

Current Mood: restless
Current Music: Rent "One Song Glory"

TOO MUCH WORK!!
Hey all,

just wanted to say....GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Too much work!! Must have Break!!

So tired!

Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: Aretha Franklin

GOD SAVE US ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH LORD!!!! Here we go again! Bush won!!! I cried all day. Today should be declared a national day of mourning for our country. we are dead, we just haven't laid down yet. Why did this happen????????? Where is the justice???
Our country will die! It is already halfway down the shitter! How will it survive another four years of Bush?? And if there is a draft Dan, Brian and Brandon and a lot of my other friends might fight and die for nothing or for oil!! I hate Bush! He's the worst thing that ever happened to this country! I'm so angry I could spit!! God SAVE US!!!

hmmmm....I need a passport!

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: A mix cd

Life Issues
My Current life:

1. Miderms/Grades: Lower then normal. I hate myself for it. I'm trying so hard but I can't focus.

2. Friends: Who need me but i don't know what to do for them, because they shut me out

3. School: WHERE'S MY MOTIVATION???????

HELP ME!!!!!

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Wicked Soundtrack

Midterms
Hey Guys,

Yes it's every college kids favoite time of the year again next to finals. You guessed it kiddies....MIDTERMS! The time when all studends are totally at the mercy of thier professors, who they are convinced stay up late at night trying to think up the one thing that can makes students sqirm. That one impossible essay question. That one totally obscure true/false test, or multiple choice questions you'd have to be a rocket scientist to decipher. I stayed up until 2 AM typing a Education in American Society Term Paper, and then retyping it when my computer froze and deleted the whole thing. And let's not forget the French summaries I spent 7 hours on, only to find out I had to cut half of the material out because it was too long. And oh yeah, I had to outline and write and writ an essay exam for World Civ I at 9:30 AM after going to bed at 2, falling asleep at 4, and waking up for class at 7 AM. And that was only the first 3 exams. I have another Education test Tuesday, A Grammar test tomorrow, and probably a math test somewhere in there too. I'm totally stressed and exhausted. How will I survive the week?

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Joey Mcintyre- Stay the Same

Summer Jobs...YUCK!
Hey Guys,
Yesterday was my first day at my summer Job volunteering at the Franziska Racker Centers main office. OH MY GOD! IT WAS AWFUL!!! Nobody explained anything to me. I spent the whole day making double copies of report cards/ progress reports for about 150 kids. It was tedious. But worst of all, the copier was satanic! I swear it knew i was new because after the first hour it refused to work right. It made the copies way to big. THEN I had to shred them all but the shredder got jammed and everyone laughed at me! It was a nightmare! Today was only slightly more bareable.

Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: Dave Matthews Band "Grey Street"

Summer at last!
Hey guys,
Ok. So I haven't updated this in a really long time and a lot has happened so I'll give the highlights for now.

1. Came home!- I love it here. It is so relaxing and nice here. I miss it and my family so much when I'm not here. Got a bit stressed about family issues...but what else is new right?

2. PASSED MATH!- Just goes to show miracles still happen! (: Passed all my classes and I'm so happy about that. Enough said.

3.Hung out with Dana and the rest of youth group... but not many friends from school yet. Sniff... Oh Well. The summer is still young!

4. Hung out with Brandon!- Went to an AWESOME Sons of Pitches concert together at the State Theater and had a fabulous time. Then went out for ice cream a couple weeks later. Haven't heard from him lately ): Hope to soon.

5. Went to school functions- Went to visit all my high school friends who were still stuck in the hellhole otherwise known as South Seneca High. It was fun, but made me feel all the more greatful to have escaped.

6. Went to South Seneca Commencement- Yes this is also a school function. However, it is notworthy because it was outside for the first time in four years. Watched a good friend graduate as well as reflect on my own graduation day.

well that's it for now. check back later for more summer updates.

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: Oh, What a Night - The Four Seasons

I'm Finished....AT LAST!!!!
Hi everyone,
Today was absolute hell on earth! First, I puked three times in a row out of nerves for my Human Learning and Finite Math exams. Consequently, they were back to back at 11 AM and 2 PM. The Humman Learning exam wasn't bad. In fact, I ended up with a B+ in the class. The Finite Math was HORRIBLE!!! It was on stats. (You know, histograms and the like). I started at 2 and ended at 5:30 PM!!!! Worse, I'll probably have to take the class over again, because I've been failing it all semester. I'm really hoping I won't have to, but chances are, I will. I'll also have an F on my transcript, which will entirely suck. I'll also miss my friends, especially Tim. I think I pissed him off, which I never meant to do. I am so greatful for him! I'll miss my friends this summer LOTS!!! ): But for now I have to pack, because my finals are over!!! YAHOO!! Home Tomorrow...

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Suessical Soundtrack

I'm Confuzzled!!!....REALLY Confuzzled!
Hello again,
I'm really confused. All the people I go to school with know what that means. Anyways, last night was sooooo weird. First I was watching a movie with a friend Charles and he gave me a hickie. A HICKIE!!! Gross! Then later, a friend KK called at 11:30 PM last night and we talked till1AM. While in the midst of our highly awkward conversation he admitted that he'd had feelings for me for years, which I'd suspected all along. Afterward I'd admitted that I'd had feelings at first but not now. Then I wondered what it would be like if the feelings were mutual. That was a scary thought. I don't know what to do. Life keeps getting harder, and I need help!

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: A mix cd

Finals week Oh Joy
Oh My God! For any college students who read this you probably know that final exams suck, especially early ones. I had one at 8 am today, which means I had to get up at 6 AM. I haven't done that since last June! It sucked, and now I'm exhausted. I had Government and English finals today, and they weren't bad, but I wouldn't want to repeat them. Monday I have an 11 am Philosophy final which is supposed to be easy, but who knows for sure. Tuesday will be absolute hell on earth. Human Learning at 11 AM and Math at 2 PM. Then I can come home. YAHOO!

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: A mix cd

I GIVE UP!! I SURRENDER!!
Wow! Holy Shit!! I'm failing math and I can't get the grade up. My friend Lisa is being a bitch and I've had enough! Finals are in two weeks, and I'm totally and completely unprepared. I study my ass off for nothing. I feel like whatever I do, people always tell me how stupid I am. I dissappoint people, I scare people I suck according to people here. I can't stand myself right now. I feel hopeless, helpless, and alone. I'm overworked. Brandon and I got in a fight and now I fear I've lost him for good. I'm tired and sore. I know my life isn't the worst one in the world, but even still I want some help dealing with my problems. I'm so stressed that I give up and surrender for the time being. I've had enough!

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: George Winston

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